Saturday, September 23, 2017

A Special Day

Today finances allowed a small treat and I was so excited it could happen. My dad told me about a low cost, smaller zoo that we could take Ally to. I have been wanting to treat her because she has been doing so well at home and at school. I also wanted to show Shaun some appreciation as well because he has picked up so much weight around our home. I am on overnights at work so he's been up at 6 am getting Ally ready for school and picking her up from school so I can rest before work. This morning I got off early so I snuck off to the store and got breakfast materials. Ally was waking up when I got home and quickly became my special little helper. Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, and eggs. It was delicious although Ally did go way too heavy on the chocolate chips. This zoo was in Gainsville so it was a road trip just to get there but we all had a blast. I love my tribe. I love that my life is drama free for the most part. Every aspect of my life has been better since I've instilled a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). Shaun and I are rock solid and are planning a road trip for our one year anniversary next year. I am so happy to be living my best life.

This was the coolest part of the day. We were about to feed the goats. Ally had me in tears laughing so hard. There is no sectioning them and they will shove each other out of the way just to be a hog over the food. She would wave her little finger at this one in particular and tell him nope and try to share with the others. I love capturing special moments like this and I am so thankful to have both of them.

On the way back home we stopped by Buc-ee's. It is a popular business in our area but Shaun and I had never been. We had a delicious lunch and each picked a treat for desert. This is a Red Velvet Fudge. It is incredibly sweet and will take me forever to finish but it is delicious.

I do have a few more blog posts but those will have to wait until tomorrow. For now it's time to knock out this shift so I can get a lazy Sunday with my tribe.

Brightest Blessings Lovelies.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Having Faith

Here lately Shaun has been teaching Ally and I to have faith. Even in our darkest moments things always have a way of working themselves out. Once I started instilling this method of belief, life has just been smoother all the way around. Instead of focusing on all that we have to worry about, we have been taking time to appreciate what we have. We have a roof over our heads, food in our stomach, and clothes on our back. What more could we need?

 My fall has thrown our bills off track by a week but thankfully my dealership and apartment complex are willing to work with us. I may not get the ability to be a Stay At Home Mom but in today's society it is getting harder and harder to live off of one income, it takes two to ensure all bills are taken care of. We hardly go out to eat but on the rare occasion that there are finances that will allow. In the five months that I have been with Shaun we have had one night out of the house, most of our date nights are at home until bills are caught up.

My favorite season is near and my favorite holiday is getting closer as well. I love all things Fall, October, and Halloween. I cannot wait to start shopping for new house decorations and to get Ally the perfect costume. I may even end up dressing up myself this year.

It is also time to start getting a head start on Christmas shopping. This year the holiday's will be really special because Shaun has never really celebrated and I can't wait to show him just how much the holiday's are around Ally and I.

We may not have a life of luxury but we have our basic needs cared for and that's what counts. Time at home is always more precious than time out of the house. 

Well, dinner is done. Time to hang with my lovelies before working tonight.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Child Support Reform: My Thoughts

Warning: The following post contains my thoughts on Child Support Reform. This is my blog and as such I will post how I feel without fear of judgement. I tend to stay away from topics that may render offensive but when I feel it necessary to speak up I shall. All information in this post is from Child Support Reform Now . I have done research throughout the day and I do not claim the validity of any of this, these are my thoughts:

Good afternoon bloggers!

It has been brought to my attention that there is a petition going around that affects my daughter and I. This post may be rather long but I would love any feedback you guys would like to post. I am not looking to start a fight but a discussion rather as I know many of you lovelies are from out of state. I live in Texas but this does affect all of us.

First off from just reading the beginning of this website it seems like a crock of horseshit. (pardon my french). I decided to keep reading though and delve deeper and try to keep an open mind. From the get go, I see both sides of what this is trying to achieve. I see where it could potentially be helpful but I also see where it is damaging.

I am only posting the parts that I feel the need to speak out because there is such a large volume written on this and I don't want to go into that much depth.

This page states: "Due to the unconstitutional and corrupt Family Court System We hereby demand:

1) Immediately cease granting sole custody to one parent if and when; both parents are equally capable of raising the child with 50/50 custody. (Currently children are awarded to the mother as the custodial parent 85% time)

2) When 50/50 custody is granted. there shall be no child support paid by either parent, except that when given willingly or in times of emergency.

3) Child Support Debit Card: The card may ONLY be used to purchase basic needs of the child such as; food, fuel, children's clothing, utility bills (not including cable) and medical expenses. The debit cards will be linked to an online account which can be monitored and accessed by the NCP (Non- custodial parent) so that he or she may ensure the integrity of all expenditures.

These are my three biggest issues with this petition. First off, I agree the system is unjust to those NCP's that are truly trying for their kids. For instance, Shaun pays his child support on time. He is constantly there for his daughter but because there isn't a set visitation schedule he has to basically beg to see his daughter. My friend Kenny is being treated like a babysitter by the court system even though he was the one to always watch his daughter and basically care for her 24/6 yet in his court case he was told he could see his daughter when her mother was working only.

1) Cease granting sole custody to one parent? This would be awesome if the NCP was truly interested in being there. This petition is asking for her to be with him 50% of the time. Are the people behind this petition not considering the fact that half the year you are ripping her from her home, school, friends, and family? For instance, my ex lives over an hour away. How would he be able to maintain her routine and not through her off? Kids are more successful when they have structure.

They are wanting to grant 50% custody to the man that lives with a woman who causes domestic disturbances daily. The most recent posted in the town news that she reported that her boyfriend choked her. This is the same home that my daughter was living in for three weeks and came home to required therapy sessions just to deal with the damage that was inflicted emotionally by Brittany. This is the same man that called me panicking because his girlfriend walked out on my five year and her one year old. He has given up on Allisun in every sense of the word. I have done nothing but push him to be there but there is always an excuse.

2) I can agree with this one but if he has her 50% of the time then he should be required to provide all of her needs. Clothing, food, medical, etc. It should truly be a co-parent situation.

3) This is essentially a big brother situation. I understand that he has a right to know where his money is going but like now in the state of Texas he can request payment records to see where that money has been spent. All of which I have receipts that document that it was spent towards Ally. We do occasionally eat out but that's because I make a girls day out of the child support money. I use it to take Ally out and get her the things she needs.

Overall, I do agree that there does need to be change in how custody and child support are handled but it needs to be a case by case basis. I refuse to let a woman who doesn't even have custody over her daughter's and emotionally damaged my daughter to get any rights. I will continue to be honest and fight always for my little girl. I do not agree that my ex should get Ally for 50% of the year when he can't even be bothered to get her for his weekends as it is. He took her for three weeks, dropped her off, and forgot about her. I'm sorry, regardless of how I feel about the other parent I would never let that stop me from being there for my child. Being a parent means being self-less.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Final Straw

I try to consider myself a giving person. I give many chances before I hit that finality. I know you can't force someone to be a parent but you can try. Over the last five years I have done nothing but try. I have allowed you in my own, I have driven to meet you, I have helped in any way possible to make sure at no point could you say it was my fault.

I'm watching Kristina go through the same thing. She is trying everything to have a father for her children. What isn't said is that you don't want your girls. It's just a power play at this point.

Your "old lady" as you call her helped drive the nail in so to speak. We get it, your son is more important that your girls. We get it. You would rather gallivant to two cities to help a friend than be there for your daughters.

We get it. There is always an excuse as to why you can't be around for more than five minutes.

We get it. You took Ally for three weeks just for her to witness how unstable your "old lady" is. 

Nobody asked you to go unprotected. You knew the risks that you were taking. You should know by now that having children is more than finances. Your"old lady" seems to think we are trying to get so much money out of you to live a five start lifestyle. Based on minimum wage, which isn't your current income Allisun receives $170 out of every check that is roughly $340 a month. Let's break down where that is significant:

Rent: $908
Electricity: $10-20 wk
Trash: $8
Groceries: $100 a week (including Ally's lunch necessities)
Household needs: $60 a month depending on what we need
Doctor's visits: $30 per visit
ER Bills: $24,000 and the most recent bill is still pending
Cell Phone: $50
Internet: $70
Car Payment: $600 per month
Total:  $2116 per month

Now this varies month to month and I didn't include the internet, doctor, or ER Bills. In the grand scheme of things $340 doesn't do much towards Ally's needs. It will buy a few outfits and the occasional toy. It doesn't get everything that she needs for school taken care of.

The State of Texas believes that something extreme has to happen in order for a parent's rights to be terminated. How does abandoning your child not count?

How does the emotional hardship you've put on all the girls not count?

I will never understand how a parent could not want there kid. Ally has brought so much love and joy in my life I couldn't imagine life without her. Everyday she is teaching me something new and she has been my biggest support with this injury I have.

I have made every attempt to get my ex to be apart of his daughter's life but no more. If he wishes to be apart of her life then he can step forward and start putting effort forward. Shaun is more of a father to Ally than he ever will be. One day he'll regret not being there to watch the beautiful lady that Ally will bloom into. He will regret it when she doesn't want anything to do with him. She already doesn't ask for him and if she did I would gladly let her call but she doesn't want him and I don't blame her.

This doesn't mean I'll cut out his family, this is just towards him. Ally is working hard on her handwriting so she can start writing her nana letters back. She is loving school and will actually be starting a church based program on Friday's to help give her some guidance. Overall she is doing awesome and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Stairs Are Not My Friend

This morning I caved and finally went to the E.R. because after three days of not being able to put any pressure on my knee, enough was enough. They of course scolded me for waiting so long but immediately went to do a head CT and X-Rays.

The results?

I have a mild concussion and I've bruised the bone on my knee. It isn't broken thankfully but severely bruised. The doctor said if I would have fallen just slightly harder I would have shattered my knee completely. Luckily everything else is just majorly bruised and will heal in time. My knee is the biggest worry at the moment.

I am now on a mandatory leave of absence from work until further notice. My body is wore out and I hate how much pain I am in. Here's to feeling better soon!

Thursday, September 14, 2017

A Long, Overdue Post

I've been in deep thought over the last few weeks and debating on whether or not to post on such a delicate subject. My heart is broken to say the least. I know ahead of time that this post may seem scattered but there is no clear way to express my thoughts. My boyfriend is African american. My ex husband is an extreme racist and so is his s/o. Over the last few weeks there have been several posts making direct stabs at my boyfriend. In the 30 minutes I visited my daughter in July apparently my boyfriend and I tainted the couch to the point where it just had to be removed because of our 'negative" energy. The funny thing is yesterday was the first time I've talked to my ex in weeks. I haven't bothered with him since his less than five minute visit a few weeks ago. Yet it is constantly posted that my best friend Kristina and I are constantly stirring the pot. It is so sad to see racism in action especially against someone that hasn't done anything to you. I took a hard fall down some stairs two days ago and my ex's first response, "Are you sure that was just stairs and not something more?" I was livid. It absolutely lit me on fire that he assumed my boyfriend did it to me when it truly was just a case of me being clumsy. This is on top of accusing me of jealousy because I demand answers as to why he doesn't bother with his children. He only cares for his son, not his three daughters. He has practically a week off and isn't bothering with Ally. This on the note that he doesn't have gas.

Did you know $340 is supposed to supply a five star lifestyle? My ex didn't "get shit" for  anything. I don't want the SAHM lifestyle anymore. I have found pride in working hard to take care of Ally. I understand he has bills but so do I. I pay close to $1800 a month in bills alone. So that meager $340 provides basic necessities for Ally, the occasional toy, and groceries that we will need for her lunch for the week. This isn't even the adjust rate. This is just based off of minimum wage. I don't expect much from him because he shows no effort. What was the point of stealing Ally from her family for five weeks, dropping her off, then not bothering? Yet he has the audacity to be angry because she doesn't ask about him anymore.

Here is a comment that was posted that really set off my anger:
'If you could read(which I'm assuming you can't seeings you are saying I took him from Tina) I'm not taking my son from her. She wants to see him she can ask Jr. I chose not to be a part of that. I also said in this very post either you can respect my relationship or you can find yourself sitting with the rest of the bitches I don't give a rats ass about. You're damn right he will never know his "sisters". Why does he need to? So he can learn to lie, or maybe he'll learn to try to cause bodily harm to other children? On top of which in order to have anything to do with 2 of his "sisters" he would have to be around the same woman that destroyed his sonogram picture (that I gave to Jr) and wished him dead. I think not. As far as knowing you.. you fucked that up when you felt the need to start drama two days after I allowed you in my home. Nor do I approve of him seeing your relationship seeings it goes against how I am raising my son. Do not put your nose in how I raise my son. Again my life and his life are none of your concern. Instead you should be focusing on your own disaster."

Isn't this just sad?

 I feel anger because Brittany isn't looking at the fact that Damian, Charlie, Izzy, and Ally will one day only have each other to lean on because let's face reality; the parents won't live forever.

As far as knowing me? The drama that she is speaking of is from her walking out on her son and my daughter. Leaving a five year home alone with an almost one year old. I receive a panicked phone call from my ex-husband requesting I come get my daughter. I make it halfway there before I receive yet another phone call telling me that he "handled it" and there was no need for me to come. I ask where Ally is and i am told not to worry. My only option is to call the police and this led to them doing a wellness check at his address. My ex and Brittany then brainwashed my five year old telling her I called the police on her. It was a huge mess to say the least but it was not caused directly by myself. My relationship with Shaun goes against her raising her son. She is the exact reason why racism still exists. Shaun has done nothing but strengthen Ally's broken heart, be the father figure she needs, and support her. He has done the same thing for me and I couldn't be more thankful for him.

Two days ago I fell down half a flight of stairs. It is more painful than anything that has ever happened to me. It happened so fast that there was nothing Shaun could have done. There was a sharp pain in my right hip then my legs went numb and I went done. According to Brittany I deserved this. "Since I've sat back and enjoyed the show instead of feeding into the drama, karma has decided to start playing her roll."

It's amazing how much stuff is said towards me indirectly even though I haven't bothered the woman. I have left her alone. Anything that is said to her is only the truth. This notion that I am jealous of her is funny to me. Why be jealous? If nothing else she is jealous of me. I have someone that is faithful to me, that puts my daughter and I first. I don't want for anything and I am so used to doing things by myself that I tend to forget that he is okay with being my shoulder.