You guys! Fall is upon us! You can feel the crisp air starting to creep although I know it won't be until closer to mid September that Texas actually starts feeling like Fall but it still upon my season! I cannot believe I will be celebrating my new year in just a couple of months. I am eagerly looking forward to it because it has been a long year for me and I am ready for more positive changes and what better time to do that then when the fall months hit? Crisp air, positive vibes, and a fresh perspective.
This brings the blog name change. I thought about changing the address altogether but they kind of go hand in hand for me. I am dedicating my moments to being more positive for Ally and I myself.
You guys know what? I actually feel free. Like the future has been open wide. I have been pretty negative lately and letting a certain someone into my head. Well, no more. I am a STRONG SINGLE MOTHER. Allisun and I are just fine without you. I know the minute that his other daughter was born that she took precedence over Ally. I don't say this with a bitter heart at all. I say this knowing I should have stayed out last year and not fallen for the games. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I truly believe there is someone for everyone and when the time is right I'll meet that person but for now I have a little person wrapped around my heart and that is a gift that gives more than anything. My future is bright, hopeful, and FREE.
First off, I have mad respect for people that pull 12+ hours daily. Doing it all weekend kicked me hard. This was my hours.
I clocked out this evening at 51 hours. Oh? Did I mention that I helped throw the truck as well. Talking about getting your workout in. Fast Food is a high stress job and while it's not the dream job, I have a pretty awesome team I work with to get shit down. I couldn't turn in down when I was offered over time. This check will mostly be saving minus some stuff that little miss needs.
I am exhausted and still have two days to go. While the money is nice, it took too much time for Ally and I can't bring myself to be a stranger to my daughter regardless how nice that check is. I keep my two days off for a reason. She has been clingy, sleeping in my bed so when I get home I get cuddles and she has made it known that mom isn't allowed to do this to her anymore.
During my marriage I wasn't allowed to do what I wanted. I always had to beg while he ran out. Everything had to be to his standards and I have been on a high of sorts as I discover the freedom of being on your own. This past weekend I did something for me that I've wanted for a long time. Now, in the sunlight it looks more copper but it is actual a vibrant red. I have a thing for red hair and this is something I've wanted for a very long time. I am STOKED about how beautiful it is and this was my treat for working my tail off to lose 30 lbs. I will be weighing myself in a few hours and would love to see the 180s. If this is what it feels like to be free, I want to stay that way for a long time. I do what I want when I want even though I live at work and home with Ally. I can take Ally wherever I want. I am a MOM and a DAD. Ally will grow up knowing strength, courage, and love.