My journey of love, laughter, and the power of a grateful heart. This is a place for positive thoughts and a warm heart. We may not have it all together but together we have it all.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Yesterday I did something I really had no business doing. I texted my ex's s/o out of spite and anger which was fault of mine. I should have just left the situation alone but after taking time to meditate and relax I let it go after the last text was sent to me. I haven't sent anything else to her. I wake up this morning to a text asking what her and I got into about it this time. I was confused because I hadn't talked to her since my ex texted me from her phone. Then I find out that his mother will be defending her as she goes to file harassment charges on Monday because she has proof that I continued the conversation after I was texted from my ex. I have the text messages and my call logs proving otherwise. So I am going to do what I should have done all along and step aside. I will remain respectful and polite only because my daughter is involved in all of this mess. The only thing like I told my ex that didn't add up was spending time with his youngest daughter at the late hours of the night who should've been in bed. Like I told my ex after we talked, I apologized for stepping where I shouldn't of and guaranteed that it wouldn't happen further. All I have done is sleep until eight this morning and that time has been spent with my daughter. My priorities are straight and all I have done is try to find strength and understanding in this trying situation.
I have been transitioning into a new stage over the last three months since I moved out. The grieving process is harder during some times than others. I am doing my best to stay afloat and be strong for my daughter. To be the best version of me and there are flaws just like any other human has. I am not perfect nor will I ever claim to be. I am just myself and I am remaining honest throughout. I haven't handled the divorce well at all and I'll admit I have moments where I sink and I am petty. I say things I shouldn't out of anger. It is a tireless process I work everyday to fix and repair. I am bitter at times because while we had our problems the affair was what really set it off. It was what really started the downhill spiral and the emotional abuse between both of us at times was painful. I can only be myself and not expect anything more. The only thing that really bothers me is how we said we weren't taking sides but yet that is exactly what is happening. I'll own up and admit that I shouldn't have said anything in the first place but I did and now all I can is move on. If you're going to accuse me of something, at least have proof I did it.