I read a lot of blogs and I have been wanting to be supportive from the sidelines but every time in the past I have made this effort it's been misconstrued so I stay silent. But I read a post today that really triggered me to want to speak out about love lost, walking away, and renewed hope.
Being in love with someone does mean sticking with them through thick and thin but it also means learning when enough is enough. I have made countless posts about emotional abuse, my own marriage, and my journey.
I have known my ex-husband for ten years. We met through my then best friend and his former ex. We were 13 & 14. We talked on the phone every night all night. We fell asleep on the phone together and made the most of our time.
We didn't actually meet in person until the weekend of my 18th birthday. My grandmother was kind enough to go and pick him up for the weekend even though I had never met him in person. That weekend assured everything I felt to be true. Then Thanksgiving of that same year I spent the weekend with him and got to know his family.
It's a fractured fairytale that now I know was all based on a lie because he was also talking to K behind my back. I know this woman loves him as well and has witnessed her own heartache but the difference between us is I finally learned when it was time to walk away. This doesn't lessen my pain or make me suddenly not love him.
Over the last few years, basically our whole marriage was a lie. He was talking to multiple women and even had an active affair with one. What still bothers me to this day is that she is perfectly okay with the family she broke. Yes, it was already crumbling but we still had hope. No, she slept with him whenever they could and made it seem like I was the horrid person because I fought for my marriage. I fought for my family.
Now I am being accused of being petty because once again my ex is lying. I have decided to be smart all together and walk away. He wanted to jump state and abandon his daughters, that's his priority. K still has on her rose colored glasses and is convinced he'll start loving her at some point. The lies just don't end and I feel great relief in knowing that I walked away. I didn't want to and I will always love him but being told your not good enough, having him bring this woman into your home and they sleep together while your at work, feeling alone, feeling worthless. No, I will not go back to those feelings.
I would rather be a strong single mother and prove to my daughter that we don't need a man. I do strongly believe that there is someone for everyone but right now, it's my time to focus on me and get myself back to being the strong badass I once was.
My point? You've got all the muscle to raise that sweet girl on your own. He left both girls. There is a silver lining to every truth he speaks to you. Respect yourself and get out of the mess and work for a future for that sweet girl and leave this chapter behind. You'll always love him but sometimes you have to love yourself enough to walk away.