I have decided after much meditation and thinking that I am done playing games with everyone. I want to be on peaceful terms regardless who my ex is with. I was close to both women at one point and one of which I came to be really close to and fell in love with.
I am at a point where I am getting older and I need to make amends. I need to know that I have that peace of mind within. That I have said my piece and done everything to repair relationships with both of these women.
Unless I hear it from the horse's mouth, I am not believing anything anymore. I am wiping the slate and starting anew. I am beginning a fresh chapter as I head into year 23. I am feeling so much better knowing that I have withdrawn myself from the drama.
I am doing what I need to do is feel at peace. I need to know that I have done everything I can to give myself that inner peace. I am not choosing sides or one or the other.
I know that not everyone will accept my decision and if you wish to withdraw yourself from my life that is fine as well. Just know I am not choosing sides. I am doing what is best for my heart and healing.
I always will want my husband and family but as I enter this next stage, I understand that isn't my path. That isn't where I am geared to go. I will always love him and be there for him but I know that I can't sit idle by and wait for him to want me again. I have to move forward. I have to discover who I am.