Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Memories....

Four years ago today. I was pregnant with Ally, we kept getting good & bad news about the pregnancy. The first doctor we went to recommended Ibuprofen then we found a doctor in a bigger city and found out that Ibuprofen was fatal to infants and that I should've only been taking Tylenol. We were only the verge of being engaged for a year, he had proposed to just shy of my 18th birthday. I felt on top of the world. We were starting a family and the world was our oyster. To this day I refuse to believe he brought me all the way from Fort Worth out of pity. I truly believe we loved each other then and still do today, life just caught up to us. Neither of us expected the affair let alone the pregnancy to happen but it did and affairs either make or break a couple. For us, the jealously and resentment broke us. My ex and our relationship has been heavy on my mind lately. I have tried hard to block it but it hits a sore spot especially since he's home. He is still fighting his s/o over Halloween so Ally may not see her sister until late late that night. It's unfortunate because we had been planning on taking the girls together since Izzy was born but I'm thankful that he won't rob me of Halloween just because his s/o is selfish. I look back now and I just can't put my finger on what triggered everything. The only thing I know that is the cause is when he lost his job and i panicked instead of trusting him. That was the night he ran home and took video and picture evidence of what he had done. To this day his s/o is standing proud of the family she ruined, the marriage she destroyed, the wife who lost a husband, and most importantly the daughter who lost her Daddy 24/7. My heart shatters everyday not waking up to him and starting our day. Sure there were bad days but there were also many many happy memories. Who knows what the future holds? Maybe there is hope for another chance down the line... Just have to wait and see...

2 comments:

  1. I hope someday things will work out like you want them to :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just remember karma is a bitch. What ppl do comes back 10 fold. So keep ur head up. Be strong for yourself and ally

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Encouraging Comments Are Always Welcomed. :)