Friday, October 2, 2015

Mixed Feelings

According to everyone but my ex, he is coming home tonight. He told me that he is still residing in Arkansas and hasn't made any plans to leave. His s/o says they've known for a week. Once again, what to believe? I will say I am proud of him for making it out on his even if it was with the support of other women. Although in Arkansas he has been completely on his own from what he has told me.

He has already missed a months worth of visitation and child support. I have enjoyed having Ally with me all the time. I feel like it's helped her a lot not having the feuding that was going on between him and I as well the feuding between his ex and him around him. I do not know what is going between K and him. She says they are together, he says no. So that's another thing in the air.

I was also told that he may possibly be losing his truck that he is still paying on. If that's the case, I don't know how he expects to get our daughter for visitation. I am trying to play nice so we can get the girls together for Halloween instead of him taking Ally for the weekend.

I feel like him coming now is the worst time because my job is taking off. I am moving forward and while it's not where I imagined, I am loving the high stress environment. The problem with this means that now he'll have to meet with my family most times for pick up because I'll already be at work. I hate this because he is disrespectful towards them and my grandmother's health hasn't been the best lately. I don't need her feeling uncomfortable in her own home.

So what to do? I am so ready to be divorced. There will always be that part of me that wanted things otherwise but he proves my point. Its been K all along. No matter who he's with he always screws them over and talks to her behind their back. This means that he's always wanted her. Truthfully, at this point I want him out of my life as much as possible.

While there were some happy memories; the majority was bitterness, anger, and fighting. I have no need to go back to that. For all I care he can take K and disappear. I want things to stay happy and positive like they have been. Ally's behaivor has been so much better. My ex just yells at her and doesn't punish her when she doesn't mind. Plus he lets her stay up till 11 or midnight so she can see K on her lunch. That in itself is exactly why I don't like her leaving for the weekend because then we have to start all over.

I do like her going because I know she cheers up her Papa, Grandma, and uncles. She gets so excited to go visit but when he bails or she is forced to come home early because K starts up her crap, it stresses me out because I am not able to leave on a whim or have my sister get her anymore. My babysitting is very limited plus I use the weekends she's gone to sleep.

I'm pulling 50 or more hours a week. I am always tired and my days off are for her and her only. I don't go anywhere without her lately. I may take some time for myself but every mom deserves that. I just don't know how I feel.

I know the greater part of me wished he stay in Arkansas and make things happen there for himself. Not move here to get visitation without being responsible and taking care of his financial responsibilities. Oh well, no use in crying over spilt milk. Just means that my life is fixing to be hell again. Once he's back with K, she'll have him on lock down.

6 comments:

  1. The truck is in dad's name so he isn't losing the truck because he is going to have to work to support the girls, and help here at home money wise too. As far as I know he is coming home. As far as I know him and Kris are still together. I understand you not wanting the stress believe me I do. You know we love having Ally here but Kris has to work the weekend of Halloween and so do I. Hugs girl

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    1. Hugs and thanks. What happens in your home is your business. I just know I hate how my daughter acts when she comes home.

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  2. He's in Texas now and about 200 miles or less away from bowie .

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    1. I know, I've already talked to him and he'll be visiting me soon but thanks honey for thinking I needed an updated on where he was. :)

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  3. You never know, things might be different this time. Think positive <3

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Encouraging Comments Are Always Welcomed. :)