Thursday, October 8, 2015

My World & A Rant


This where I found my beautiful girl tonight. I will post a better picture of the thing she's sleeping in. It's a cute half tent that we found today. It was her reward for donating unwanted toys. She was such a doll today playing with her toys, helping clean, and reminding me I'm a good mommy. After how hellish today was when I wasn't around her, it is nice to hear someone thinks I'm doing it right. 

My beautiful daughter motivates me to stay strong and not give into temptation. I've thought about reconciling with her father but after tonight I realize that is no longer possible. Even though I shouldn't have, I helped him out one last time. From here out he can turn to his new gf for help.



Unfortunately it looks like Halloween has been taken from me. It falls on his weekend but he had promised me I would have Ally. Well because he is dating Brittany he invited her. I just wanted it to be me and her but I understood him wanting to come and his other daughter as well.

I am beyond frustrated because I have been planning Halloween for us for a month or so now and because I disagreed now I am losing her and she'll be going to Bowie. I am hoping that Brittany is just lying like usual and this isn't the case. I won't know for sure until tomorrow when I hear it from the horse's mouth.

I will say I am terribly upset because everything has been so much better. They both ditched everyone to run off together for a month and then when that didn't pan out they both came crawling back here. Now they want a part in Ally's life. My ex, I understand because he needs to get himself together and I've tried to help as much as possible.

Brittany. I am pissed. Why is she allowed to be apart of my daughter's life just because she's the flavor of the month? UGH! And to top it off I've had a severe anxiety attack that hasn't eased up at all. Went to ER and they gave me some meds to numb my chest but told me I need to get my doctor asap to get on meds for it because it can be more severe and lead to a mini stroke.

I am choosing to remain positive and believe I will have my sweet girl with me on Halloween. If her father chooses to take her, there isn't much I can say or do.

3 comments:

  1. Stay strong Felicia. If she's who he wants and he's lying to us both, then we need to see through the rose colored glasses. We both deserve happiness and I'm starting to think that, for us both, it won't be him. I know I've been shitty in the past. But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I'm done with it.

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  2. I know Halloween is a special time. But keep in mind that if she isn't with you on that night, the two of you can (and should) still celebrate the day before or day after. It's important for her to learn and be involved with your religious beliefs. I raised my children following my wiccan beliefs. But when they were old enough to choose their own paths they each chose a different one. All we can do is guide them and give them the information they need to make good choices. Hang in there! Things will get better.

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  3. I hope this isn't true! I know how much you were looking forward to enjoying Halloween with your girl :( Try not to stress about it though, who knows where this new girl will be in 2 weeks, she could be long gone and your plans will be back to normal. Fingers crossed :)

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Encouraging Comments Are Always Welcomed. :)