This has been an overwhelming and scary week. I didn't think I'd be ready to talk about it but I think I am getting there now. Anyone that knows me or that has read this blog knows the struggle between my weight, my health, my mental state. So many struggles. Well, I ended up at the ER on Monday. I had been having severe pains near my bladder. I had been close to tears and ready to fall apart. I am so thankful for my boyfriend for listening to me whine and complain and fight going to the ER. I have found out that I am indeed diabetic. Not quite insulin diabetic yet but getting there. I've had a severe bladder infection for about two months and not known about it until it hit severe. I'll save the gory details just that this has opened my eyes. Even though I've tried really hard to lose weight, I need to start being more aware of that inner clock. The clock gives me everything I need to know. I feel renewed and while i know it is something that can be cured by taking care of myself, I also know that I need to be more aware when something doesn't feel right.
I am so thankful to have someone that takes care of me. I am learning to shut-up and listen. That it doesn't have to be all about me and sometimes it's better to open up your ears and listen. I am learning so much about myself in this journey and what my strengths and weaknesses are. I feel awakened. Alive even. I have had so much support that I can't imagine not having this support with me. My life is amazing right now. I am also getting way better at meeting half-way and respecting boundaries. Life is a journey and I can't imagine being with anyone else. In this moment, I am at my happiest. I am truly happy and i hope this feeling never ends.