Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Done

I have come to some final decisions. I will be getting a cheap phone with minutes just for my ex to call if he needs something in regards to Allisun. I will be getting a new phone number for friends and family. The main reason for a phone just for my ex is so if the number does get out I don't have to worry about the horrid process of trying to change my number.

I have also decided to stop making effort to be apart of J's life. Tonight's bull drove me over the edge. I don't talk negatively about my situation to my daughter. I firmly believe that it only makes it worse on the child if you involve them. I keep things upbeat and positive regardless of what's going on in my life.

I am working everyday to better myself. I have moments just like anyone else. I lash out. Shit happens. I am not perfect by any means nor do I strive to be. I have found therapy in exercise and started going to the gym every night.

I have no desire to be friends with K or B simply because they are both in the circus I no longer wish to be apart of. Kristina has moved back in or started her sleepovers with J claiming him as her Fiance. That's her choice to claim to be engaged to a married man.

I have decided that I will be filing my divorce sooner rather than later. I am tired of trying to make amends just to be threatened.

I am a single mom playing both Father and Mother to Ally. I work damn hard pulling long hours for her. Is that what I thought my life would be?

No, I wanted to be a stay at home mother so I didn't miss a moment with Ally. I am grateful for family and friends.

Could I be spiteful and hurt people involved with J? Of course I could but I won't. Instead I am going to move on with my life once and for all.

I am happy that there are many people supporting me on my journey and hope to see a loss on the scale Monday. I have been exercising everyday and working hard to avoid cravings. It is a struggle but I know I can do this for my sweet daughter.


Bright Blessings! <3

4 comments:

  1. Well I am glad things are still good between us too then and since it was a miscommunication I will gladly put your blogs back.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I truely wish you the best and always have. I hate to know that you have decided to stop talking to me because of another's actions. I too am tired of the circus and have made my point clear to J. He can take what I say as he wants. But I do wish you the best. Even when I've been upset with you I've still checked on you. I understand that noone is perfect and we are all bitter in some way. We have that right. I just hope you change your mind and continue to be a part of mine and Damian's life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think those are wise choices you have made and I am sure you will be happier for them on the other end of all of this hugs!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope these new changes bring the peace you are looking for. Your exercising and self care are definitely positive choices! I'm proud of you.

    ReplyDelete

Encouraging Comments Are Always Welcomed. :)