I have come to some final decisions. I will be getting a cheap phone with minutes just for my ex to call if he needs something in regards to Allisun. I will be getting a new phone number for friends and family. The main reason for a phone just for my ex is so if the number does get out I don't have to worry about the horrid process of trying to change my number.
I have also decided to stop making effort to be apart of J's life. Tonight's bull drove me over the edge. I don't talk negatively about my situation to my daughter. I firmly believe that it only makes it worse on the child if you involve them. I keep things upbeat and positive regardless of what's going on in my life.
I am working everyday to better myself. I have moments just like anyone else. I lash out. Shit happens. I am not perfect by any means nor do I strive to be. I have found therapy in exercise and started going to the gym every night.
I have no desire to be friends with K or B simply because they are both in the circus I no longer wish to be apart of. Kristina has moved back in or started her sleepovers with J claiming him as her Fiance. That's her choice to claim to be engaged to a married man.
I have decided that I will be filing my divorce sooner rather than later. I am tired of trying to make amends just to be threatened.
I am a single mom playing both Father and Mother to Ally. I work damn hard pulling long hours for her. Is that what I thought my life would be?
No, I wanted to be a stay at home mother so I didn't miss a moment with Ally. I am grateful for family and friends.
Could I be spiteful and hurt people involved with J? Of course I could but I won't. Instead I am going to move on with my life once and for all.
I am happy that there are many people supporting me on my journey and hope to see a loss on the scale Monday. I have been exercising everyday and working hard to avoid cravings. It is a struggle but I know I can do this for my sweet daughter.
Bright Blessings! <3