Clarity was given last night and I now realize that even though its been a year I'm not even close to where I thought I was. My depression is swallowing me and there's to tall to because I don't even understand why all I want to do is cry. Why I can't accept what is and give myself the ability to play normalcy.
I needed Ally to be away tonight but turns out she was needed to come home. So now just an hour to try to pull myself together and I don't know if that's possible.
I just wish this feeling would go away. I could lose everything all because I can't fake normalcy. Instead all I can do is cry and feel horrid.
It hurts with every fiber of my being but I'll do as I've always done and fake happiness. Being a third unwanted wheel has never been such fun.