Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Processing

I don't even know where to start. I've started writing this post many times just to delete the words I've written but I guess here goes.

My aunt has been diagnosed with stage one bipolar disorder. She was told that those moments where she feels happy and like life is getting manageable is a sense of euphoria followed by a severe mood swing. Often agressive or depressive.

She has mild depression as well which I already knew.

This tears at me and has been eating at me since I found out. Kris and Joey both have accused me of being bipolar and I have always justified it as my heart feeling torn between doing the right thing and saving them. I hate when people are upset with me so I always go back on my word.

The more I research and look through the information my aunt was given the more I'm assured this is part of a huge problem for me.

But I won't say anything aloud rather just cope silently and figure a way to deal.

This is why my marriage failed.

I was told last night this is why. My sudden mood swings and flipping my switch. Then today I find out about my aunt.

Looks like a silent reflective night for me.

2 comments:

  1. I don't think that was fair to blame your marriage failing entirely on you. I mean he was cheating and got another woman pregnant, he has to take some of the blame. Hugs to you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. He doesn't take responsibility for anything. His m.o. is to blame every one else.

    ReplyDelete

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