Monday, June 13, 2016

I've spent a lot of thinking and reflecting over the last few days. My moods seem to swing like no other lately. I can't put these feelings into words. I want to see happiness but it is also painful. I think this is why I am so determined to just sink back to where I used to be. To be quiet and reflecting.

The fighting has spiked my anxiety and in large it is my fault. This is why it is crucial for me to step back and just be. Just watch everything around me.

I slept but it doesn't feel like it. My eyes are heavy and I could crash. Why must I always feel so tired?

Laundry is back on track, Ally is hanging with Nana for a few, I am going to enjoy a bowl of Ramen then dig back into the housework.

I just wish people would stop pointing out my faults and encourage me. Not talk behind my back.Everyday it is bittersweet. I see why I was not chosen. I see my faults. I see why I'm not the one.

Time to move past this and move forward.


7 comments:

  1. You need to get your house back felicia. I knew it wasn't going to be good from the get go. It's still your house and they aren't respecting you. Brittany may be your best friend, but you shouldn't be forced to watch her be with your husband on a daily basis since it's apparent he's moved in now. You can delete my comment if you think I'm just trying to be hurtful or whatever, but I'm really not. It's my honest opinion. And you aren't going to get better until it's just you and ally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your concern, I do appreciate it. Things are getting better everyday and the only one living here is Brit. We are working through things as adults and I know you aren't being hurtful.

      I am so sorry to see you in so much pain and I hope you are able to ease of out this and move forward once you leave tomorrow.

      Delete
  2. I doubt it. Faglie said my panic attacks are centered around all of this, and the added stress and horrible sickness and lack of sleep is wearing my body down. The baby is fine. But he's starting to really worry about me. He confirmed that if I can't get control over myself and start getting better, then yes I will end up in the hospital.

    This whole situation is shit.

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    Replies
    1. I know I've sucked at being there but you have my number if you want to talk or Kik. I really am sorry to see you hurting. I completely understand the pain.

      Delete
  3. Actually I dont. I was so pissed, I blocked both of yalls number, texts, and kiks

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    Replies
    1. Well if you decide to unblock me let me know and I send a text and Kik.

      Delete
  4. It breaks my heart to hear you say you weren't "chosen" :( I hope some day you are able to look back at all of this and be happy and thankful that you weren't chosen. <3 You girls should watch the movie The Other Woman with Cameron Diaz and get some tips from them :)

    ReplyDelete

Encouraging Comments Are Always Welcomed. :)