I am still trying to process today and most of those feelings will have to stay silent. The only thing that is really rubbing me wrong is the lack of trust. The fact that I decide to do something for myself and it turns into a run and tell situation.
Now it appears there is no such thing as trust. I put aside my feelings to find acceptance and this is how I am thanked. This just proves my point all along. But now I truly get the meaning of only being able to trust yourself.
I have been thinking a lot about addiction lately and its many forms. My heart has felt heavy today as I watch a dear friend fight addiction. I have also realized that addiction comes in many forms. Whether its drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, self-harm. Whatever the case may be we all seek something to ease the pain.
Its especially hard when you want to intervene but can't because they have to want to change for themselves. Until it is for you, things will always remain the same.
I have always been a people pleaser. I want nothing more than to have everyone happy and to be there for them. I hate when I see people in pain and I often find myself putting others happiness before my own. It is just the type of person I am.
I guess my thoughts have left me scattered today. Here's to hoping that rest finds me soon.
Until tomorrow, bright blessings.