At the beginning of 2016, I chose commitment as my word of the year. Here is the original post. I look at these early posts in the year and I see the fire I had. I see the drive behind those words. Yesterday the dam broke so to speak. I was able to keep myself completely calm and hear what Joey had to say for once.
In the words he spoke I remembered all the reasons I fell for him and why I still care so much. He was my best friend at one point. My better half.
The hardest words you will ever hear are that they were proud of you but they are watching you give into the depression. They are watching you turn into the very person you said you wouldn't be. Well, no more! I worked too hard to get away from my depression and I'm not giving in now.
I have spent so much time wasting energy on people I didn't need to, I am not feeding into Kristina's crap anymore. I am going to go back to the woman who believed in Joey and pushed him everyday to better himself because I know he can do this. I know he can where he needs to be.
I am going to commit to bettering myself by getting my weight loss journey back on track. Monday we will weigh in and see where we are at. I really want to get into Herbalife and as soon as my finances allow it I will be.
I am going to dedicate time to me by reading. It is my favorite hobby and one I adore doing. Not reading feels like I'm cheating myself out of time for myself.
I have the desire, not I just need to back it. This isn't just for me, it is for my daughter. It is for us to get where we need to be. If I expect Ally to succeed I have to set the example. Feeding into other's drama only deters me from my path. I've shown that I can do it. I have had the fire, I just need to keep it lit.