Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Frustrated

I'm Damn near tears tonight. My chest is so heavy the pain is unreal. I don't really have anyone to talk to about how I'm feeling so I have to keep it bottled up.

Its amazing how people can be so ready to leave yet keep crawling back. There's this sudden need for them to be there for everything that not even a month or so ago you didn't want them there for but yet today Its suddenly a necessity.

The childish shit is angering me. I'm supposed to be the bigger person yet nothing is said when constant stabs are made or I'm called names that you know nothing about. I want to lash out but karma will have to dish out that pain.

I even once again go the extra mile and open my home up to you and your daughter just find out your being shady under my nose. Its not good enough you contributed to destroying a marriage but now you boast about destroying a relationship as well all for some damn fantasy to be him. Yet you drove him away which lead to him being here.

I'm hurt because I don't have the best relationship with my aunt and now she's in renal failure. I know she could come out of it but considering her state it seems highly unlikely this time around.

Today alone with Ally showed me why I want my house back. It was just us, a blanket, and a good movie. Simplicity at its finest. I think this is why I'm itching so bad to have my house back. I'm tired of all of the double standards. How I'm not supposed to speak up but everyone else is allowed to.

I just miss the beginning of everything falling into place and knowing it was mine and mine alone. I'm tired of not having that space anymore. I want my home back.

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