In the last few weeks of bliss I've found closure. For the last four years I had been fighting for my marriage because I was raised in the fact that divorce just wasn't meant to happen. As the years have passed I have realized that not every marriage ends in happily ever After.
I'll always love Joey and he's going to maintain a special place in my heart because we did spend 10 years off and on building a life together. We spent ten of it married. I'll cherish the good times we had but as Ally turns the chapter in her life I realise I need to do the same.
I truly don't believe we ever stop grieving. I believe the bleeding lessens overtime. There are going to be things that rip open the wound but you have to grab your first aid kid and bandaid it back.
I truly believe once Joey find self happiness then he'll build a life with someone. Until he is happy with himself he won't be able to be happy with someone else.
I'm starting to balance myself. I'm paying attention to me and how I feel. Instead of reacting I'm actually listening for once.
I'm focused on Ally and I. My eye is on the prize. We have so many firsts coming up. Our first Halloween, first Christmas, first Thanksgiving. Soon enough it'll be our home to build our memories in.
For now though I'll manage through and keep my sanity. Sometimes it takes ripping the bandaid off and bleeding out to realize that you don't want to ever feel that pain again.
Here's to healing and moving forward. The hardest part is letting go and realizing that enough is enough.