Wednesday, September 7, 2016

A New Day


Yesterday I took a HUGE back step in all of the progress I had been making over the last few weeks. I have this need to have the last word and I see where I should have just left it alone at my first K but I took a second to think and all that did was anger me more. This is the biggest flaw I have been working on.

I shouldn't have said half of the things I did say and I did feel like I was just talking. I never tried to escalate anything into a fight. But then I see where it was previously known it wouldn't last long so I don't feel like I was given a fair chance to begin with. I will clarify that I never said it was all your fault, I know mistakes were made on both ends.

 Things were blown out of proportion but that was yesterday and this is today.

Today I am feeling beyond drained. After taking Ally to school I enjoyed a nice hot shower to see if that would help my lower back. I came home from work my back having spasms and my legs in extreme pain due to cramps.

Today I just need to get the kitchen cleaned up and the last load of laundry put away then I can sleep until Ally comes home. I feel myself going backwards and it's rough because part of me is enjoying it but then I also see where I've made such huge strides to stay out of bed and feel accomplished.

I really hope this mood is able to dissapate quickly and that yesterday can be put behind us all and we can move forward. If not I'll feel awful because I know this was the main way Joey was able to see Izzy and spend time with her. If bitter hearts are how things will remain then I'll accept that in time as well.

Time to get this done real quick and crawl back in bed. My everything hurts and I have dinner to make and work to go to.

3 comments:

  1. I know it is hard in the heat of the moment and it is something that I have just recently starting being able to do but if something bothers me really badly and I can see myself having a little fit I sleep on it and if in the morning it is still really bothering me I will have the fit but most times by the time morning comes my head has leveled and I can deal with whatever it was. It seems like you are getting close to that place. Only 1 year ago when you had a fight with the other mom it seemed to last days and right now you are already taking ownership in your part the very next day! We can't have good days all the time so don't beat yourself up over yesterday. Move on and try again. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. (((Hugs))) hang in there and stay strong. You are doing a great job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Things were blown out of proportion but that was yesterday and this is today....This is a important and wise statement that came from you! LOL It just shows how much you have grown and gotten wiser in your process. It will all be okay.

    ReplyDelete

Encouraging Comments Are Always Welcomed. :)