I have been taking some time to gather my thoughts and now that things have settled down I feel more comfortable speaking out and clearing my head. A week ago I decided to take control of my life. I don't make enough to support multiple people. So I made it clear either more effort was put into finding a job or he could move out. What people don't see is that he threw away 2 CDL jobs. I am sure he has said many stories but it boils down to he threw them away.
He didn't bother with saying goodbye to Ally. Ally being his oldest daughter. Four years old and understands everything. Instead she met Ray and came home to find her father's stuff gone. Yes I did tell her that it was me who asked him to leave but I also told her that I told him he needed to go and say goodbye.
Nothing is more painful than watching your daughter fall apart. Nothing is more beautiful than watching someone else step up and try to mend her broken heart. Just a little bit ago I found out that he has been video chatting with his other daughter. Today is a week. A week has gone by and he has made zero effort to talk to Ally. This clarifies my next move. I am starting by severing all ties with him.
R and I have talked through everything and hopefully we'll have more answers by the beginning of next week. We've talked about marrying shortly after the divorce is finalized. We are making plans to go out of town for our birthday's. We are leaving state in January to take Ally to meet my grandparents in Arizona. Once my lease is up in February/March we'll be moving in with him and his two children or at least this is the plan so far.
We have also talked about adding to our family unit. I have always wanted more children and although it would be a high risk pregnancy I have already lost almost 40 pounds since having Ally and if I keep up with the weight loss I should be pretty close to my starting weight. Thankfully we're surrounded by high risk doctors so that will work in our favor. Another C Section terrifies me but I know he'd be at every doctors appointment and definitely there through the whole delivery.
Ally had a doctor's appointment recently and we've discovered she has the beginning symptoms of Excezma so we have started treatment to make her hands less painful. She's flourishing in school and I am so proud of her. She is becoming such a beautiful young woman.
Kruz is the best addition to our family. He definitely is always right by my side wherever I go. I love how excited he gets when we get home at night or when Ally comes home after school.
Work is fantastic. We are aiming for manager by December.
Today I have to get back on track. I have slid so far back with the house it's not even funny. It's clean but not deep cleaned like it needs to be so that will be my task today after a small nap. Going to do some decluttering and maybe even start in on stitching a new victim.
Also A very happy Mabon to everyone. This is definitely my time of the year and I can't wait to see where the years ending takes me as I transform into a better being.