Overall today was a pretty good day and I'm glad I was able to relax for the most part. The house has been cleaned and dinner was a success. I'm really proud of myself for making meatloaf and starting to be brave about trying new recipes.
I have a rant because on top of not feeling well this is increasing how shitty I feel about myself.
I don't have the greatest past. I used to be a terrible person and part of why I'm so close to Joey is he helped through a really rough time in my life and honestly saved me. He was there when I hit rock bottom and if weren't for him I wouldn't be here right now.
I'm amazed at how desperate some people can be. Since when did sex become the way to get what you want?
Since when did it become expected that you spread your legs?
I'm not so desperate that I'll send pictures and offer sex for a material item. It isn't who I am. I'm so angry about this that my chest is aching but as I've told things will always be taken care of in the end.
You're supposed to be mature and older yet you expect nudes and titty shots. Just because some women think flashing their tits will keep a man doesn't mean I'm that type of person. I've changed and worked too hard to back track.
Now that I still have a few hours before he'll be home from work I think I'm going to sleep off my upset and try to relax. The more i start to feel like myself, the more I watch others try to tear me down. I think I'm just going to retreat. Between today and yesterday I'm emotionally drained.