Saturday was really awesome. I went out with my family and spent the day with them. My mom bought me some new shorts which are absolutely gorgeous and definitely give me the self-confidence boost I needed.
Thursday I spent the late evening with R. We aren't quite sure when he is leaving but when he gets a break from his demanding schedule he spends time with us. I really needed the time we got Thursday because it really helped me to reset myself. He said something really crucial and necessary.
He said it's like he's with two different people sometimes. There's the Felicia he met and fell in love with instantly. The one is who is honest and has a big heart but then there are times where it feels like he is with the old Felicia. The Felicia that was ran by the insecurities her past left with her. She creeps out when he has been extremely busy and hasn't had time to reply to my messages. I let what other people have done effect my relationship with me. This made complete sense to me and it really clicked.
Going into these next four months I know there will many times where he will be unavailable and it will hard not hearing from him. I know Ally is taking this hard but like I told her, it will all be worth it in the end. We have both fallen head over heels for him.
Part of what added to my pity party was finding out that my falling apart session was just a move for leverage. Talking about being kicked while you were down.It is amazing how when someone is fueled by anger and jealousy that the truth comes out. Many hurtful things were said but I am choosing to treasure my daughter, my loving boyfriend, and my family.
I am not fake by any means. I always tell the truth and always stay true to myself. Here in the last few days I have reconnected with an old friend. It is really nice that we are able to be there for each other. Work is going extremely well right now and I am loving my job. I am loving that I have such a great team by my side. I have made many friends and I have fallen in love with my GM.
Overall life is really good right now and I need to start seeing things from that spectrum versus the negative one I have been looking at. So here's to a good life filled with good people. I am so glad Ally comes home tomorrow because while I am happy with her seeing her grandparents and Uncles, I am not happy that she had to be away from me. I am also not happy that in order for her to come home I have to give out gas money because instead of that being a priority new phones, games, and dinner dates were more important. Next time if money can't be budgeted properly, Allisun won't leave because now due to other's irresponsibility I have to cut into my already tight budget to spare the money. The silver lining in that is that my sweet gal will be home tomorrow.
Time for me to get my few hours in before work tomorrow. Brightest Blessings Lovelies.