Thursday, February 9, 2017
It's Getting Real
I had severe postpartum after having Ally and I don't think I really recuperated from it. When I left Joey my sister already put in a recommendation and helped me get a job at Whataburger.
When you've never worked fast food you don't realize just how demanding the industry is. How you'll leave after a long day and feel like you were jumped in an alley way.
In 2016 when income tax came around my dad assured me I needed to get out and live on my own. Provide Ally with stability. Show her that we can rebuild our lives and start over. That we deserved more than what we allowed ourselves to go through.
2016 was definitely my year to get on track. I promoted twice. Once to team lead and again to manager. I was recently offered my own store and gm.
Ally has had some amazing strides of her own. She's thriving in school and I'm beyond proud of her. She has her alphabet down pat and can write her own name. She's learning how to dial on my phone.
While I am worried about the transition from it being mom and Ally against the world to mom, Ally, and a family I think she's more than ready for it.
I am so excited to put the deposit down on her party venue. Were taking her to pump it up. Its this awesome bounce house place and I can't tell who's more excited, me or her. I can't wait to surprise her when R comes in to be with her for her birthday.
My lease is up in just over a month. I've had some set backs due to my big heart. I allowed Joey and Brittany to reside here, tried owning pets (even though that isn't fair to them when you work 50 hours a week), took a kid from work in that needed to get his life straight, and briefly had a family of five. I don't regret any of it though. I have always been big about paying it forward.
It is amazing how when you have the right support system life moves so much smoother. When you meet your life partner one talk with them can change your perspective and lift you spirits.
I had a long talk with R finalizing our plans for the move. Discussing the wedding. Our honeymoon. I love how in every talk I can feel him lighting up talking about our life. I love that he calls me love. That he does everything to keep me from sinking back into that dark spot. I do the same for him.
He's opened up more in the last five months than almost 10 years with Joey did. It is true that love isn't based on time but feeling.
We're sealing everything today but I'm pretty sure we've agreed I'll put my two weeks at the beginning of March that way I get two weeks just to focus on packing and getting the last of things finished up.
I'm way more excited now that were getting closer than nervous. I'm ready to take this step and get time to be with our kids. For us to be a family.
I smile more having R in my life. It's hard to not want to scream it to anyone that can hear me. I wasn't look for a relationship but this man stole my heart in our first conversation.
I think the biggest thing that pulls me towards him is that he forces me to be honest with myself. To be the best version of myself and not settle for anything less. Not to mention I feel like he knows me better than I know myself.
For instance, I called him yesterday to tell him I left work early and he already knew it had something to do with my attitude.
I'm purging the living room today and being extra detailed. Here's to a morning of music, incense burning, good thoughts flowing, and of course a hot cup of coffee.
For anyone who is holding onto hope, you can only hold on for so long. Sometimes letting go is the best thing. It took two years but I've found my happily ever after, you can too.
Brightest Blessings lovelies.