Sunday, April 2, 2017

'Ello April

April already? It's hard to believe we're already in April and that I've gone so long without posting. Get ready for a long post filled with life juju, movie reviews, and more. I've found comfort in the silence because it isn't worth the energy wasted on feeding into other's drama. So here's a little life update. We moved yesterday. This new apartment is significantly more expensive and I worry about making ends meet but this was a necessary move for Ally. She's absolutely in love with the fact that she has her own room.

Yesterday was quite the exhausting adventure. We had to travel to get a dining room table and on the way back my friend had a blowout on the freeway in one of the busiest parts. Luckily it was back a fire and we were able to get it fixed.

I've been getting closer to my little brother lately and it's a bond I'm thankful for. I've found appreciation for the small things in life and I'm enjoying every moment of life.

Depression has a had a serious grip on me recently and I'm fighting everyday to break free from it. I'm not sure what's causing it but it's much like drowning lately. Mix that with the anxiety attacks and it just puts me to tears.

I've yet to listen to everyone and make an ER trip but a week ago I popped my hip out of place and since then it's continued to be more painful and I've yet to find to get it looked into.

Overall we're set on a pretty strong road. It took us a year to get our shit together but now we have a great vehicle whom we've named Millie and we have a beautiful apartment.

On a small tangent because it has been irking my soul. You can't claim someone who is married and you were the other woman had an affair. He had the affair with you and Brit. He didn't cheat on you with Brit. While I hold many things against her, the wrecking of a family I don't because you destroyed that first. I spent a long time being bitter about it but I've moved on. I've put my daughter first and never looked back. It took a lot of chances to finally realize he wasn't going to change but I've finally moved on. Two years now.

You were never engaged to him because how is it possible to be engaged to a married man? I'm not talking about now, I'm talking about when we were still fighting for our marriage.

That being said, Thank you Kristina for coming in and ruining my family because you revealed his true self. You showed me that behind that facade of love was a man who isn't happy with himself. You triggered my anxiety and those last few months before I wised up and left were hell. But you know what?

I forgive you. I never thought I would be able to utter that to you but I truly forgive you and I understand to some degree why you did what you did. Why you are the way you are. I just wish I would have walked away the first time he cheated with you.

Brit on the other hand, I don't have time to be bitter but I also don't have it in me to forgive you just yet. I allowed you in my home while I was still vulnerable. I gave you and your son a place to get a fresh start and while things weren't always easy we made it through. You related that kindness by trying to kill me and rubbing your affair in my face. You not only put my life in danger but my child's life and that's not something easy to forgive.

There aren't enough words to describe the beauty and pure joy I gained from seeing Beauty and the Beast. It was truly a beautiful movie. I took Ally with me and I kid you not, she didn't move through the entire movie. She laughed and sang along with it as well. For those of you that know Ally you know that's quite a feat to keep her still. It felt like reliving my childhood. It will definitely be added to my collection.

I can't tell you enough how much this brought me to my childhood. I don't have many great memories with my dad but Power Rangers is one of them. My sister and I would set alarms and get up my dad. We would make breakfast and watch Power Rangers with my dad and then the usual Saturday morning line up. We took him to see this in theaters and it was seriously all smiles between us. Ally told us we were too old to be so excited but we really enjoyed it.

Well lovelies that's about life lately. Its not perfect but it's pretty good so far. Time for our first breakfast in our new home. As I get it unpacked I'll post pictures for you guys. How has everyone been? I'll definitely be visiting blogs soon. Miss you guys!


  1. The movies sound wonderful and yes miss ally being still through a complete movie is a feat in itself, glad the move went ok cant wait to see pics, enjoy.

  2. Congratulations on getting the move done. I hope you settle in quickly and enjoy your new space.

    Missed you here and look forward to seeing photos.

  3. Congrats on your new place!! I am sure the extra expense will be worth Ally having her own room. Can't wait to see some pictures :) I want to see Beauty and Beast so bad! Was it very scary? And I missed hearing from you!

  4. Glad you are in your new place and that Ally is so excited.


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