Thursday, May 11, 2017

Enough

I have been absent lately due to life and all its stressors. I have been adjusting toa the apartment, focusing on my career and my relationship, as well as getting Ally settled but before I do a checking in post I feel very strongly about speaking out and breaking my silence.

I have nothing to do with my ex-husband. I severed that tie months ago. Other than a text here or there I've left him alone. Today was the first time in months I've said more than a handful of words to him.

Due to a health problem that he needs further testing on he's finally realizing the importance of family and being there. We've discussed the terms to him seeing Ally and he's in agreement that Brittany doesn't need to be alone with my daughter and that weekend visits won't be happening anytime soon. He'll be focusing on short visits with just him and Ally. He understands if Brit makes an appearance then he'll lose that visit. I also get that he lives with her and he realizes the severity of my terms. That if Brit is left alone with Ally I will take full custody of Ally and sever visitation. My daughter's safety and well being should be first priority.

I have read all the blog posts and social media stabs. Enough already! Stop dragging me into it on your blogs. I am not "one of the three" or "one of the women sleeping with him."

Brit, Kris, and my mother in-law all fail to realize I was in a committed marriage with Jr. I fought for years to save my marriage. I remained faithful and came crawling back despite all the proof in the world showing me he wasn't faithful.

I stopped crawling two years ago when I left Jr. I walked away. I packed my car and took my daughter to a better life. I got my shit together and made a life for Ally and I.

I also interrupted that journey by taking in my ex, one of his babymommas, allowing another one to spend time in my home. I almost lost my life due to one of his baby mommas. I haven't and will never forgive her for this.

I made my share of mistakes and I've made peace with those. One thing I didn't do is take my child from my in-laws. I went out of my way so my daughter could visit her grandparents. I told them ahead of time it would be the only visit until Brittany moved out.

That is their house and I don't care how they run it but I will not have my daughter's safety put at risk by any means. It is my job as her mother to protect her from anything that will hurt her.

No, the children involved in this disaster didn't ask to be in this situation but the mothers of the three still prove that their "mother" switch hasn't switched yet. They are still stuck in victim mode and not survival mode. They are still pining over a broken man.

I don't want to allow Ally to get attached just for her heart to get broken because the mom gets in a knot. I could fight for step-parent rights but I don't want to be attached just to get hurt as well.

Ally is a beautiful young lady and she has been striving above and beyond. She's graduating her first year of school, finally has her own room, and is overall the happiest I've seen her in a long.

I removed myself from every aspect of that life I once lived. So stop including me in the posts about it. I did something about my pain and it made me stronger. I'm sorry that you both can't do the same.

I know I promised updates and pictures but I work 50-70 hours a week and life has been hectic lately. I'm a single mom and I love my life but blogging has been hard lately. Working full time as a manager to provide for my family doesn't allow much time to blog but I do my best when I can. So bare with me if I'm slow to blog but I will get caught up soon.

4 comments:

  1. Im about to stop blogging altogether i think. For good. I've made it clear that until brittany leaves their home, the grandparents wont see the girls. I am trying my best to move past everything. I keep falling back, but i really am trying. After i finally get my life together, i would like to try play dates with the girls again. But that is up to you. I really am proud of you for getting to where you're at. I just gotta get myself there too.

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    1. Don't stop blogging, I always say I'm done but its therapeutic for me. It's my outlet even if it's public. This is your way to cope. It takes a long time to heal and move forward. I know you don't feel like it'll ever heal but it will babygirl, it will. Just takes time. I have fought very hard with how I feel about being around the girls or Damian and I don't feel like that is what is best for Ally. I feel like she's in a solid place and allowing her to have a relationship that could be taken away at anytime is toxic.

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  2. Take you time sweets! We will be here waiting for pictures when you get a chance. So proud of all you have done for yourself and for Ally in the last couple years. You are one tough cookie! xo

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    1. Thank you Khristine! I am trying to get my groove back and I have a doctor's appointment coming up that will hopefully help with all of that.

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