Wednesday, May 17, 2017

The Power of Presence

I am always bragging about Ally and how proud I am of her. I like to think that we have a pretty open relationship and that she can come to me about anything. Something she said the other has had me deep in thought though. She told not only my family but also her school that her dad died 20 years ago. I took her out to eat after school so we could talk about it. I asked her what happened at school. She flat out told me that she told her teacher that her dad died. I explained to her that he wasn't dead. He was just busy with work. Mind you she is five, she then told me that she wasn't stupid. That she knows her Daddy doesn't want her and he might as well be dead. Do you realize how soul crushing that is as a mother that your child considers her father dead? At one point, I made all the effort so he could be there. I put out the gas money, drove to pick him up, covered the lie so he could away from Brit. Every time he would be spending time with Ally, here comes Brittany to bitch because he wasn't there tending to her every whim and desire. Now he would rather blame me for not putting the effort forward when it is his responsibility. If he expects to be apart of her life, he needs to be consistent and show up instead of this constant pity party for one. For now, I'll continue to nurse my baby's broken heart and work towards moving on.

6 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry she is going through this.

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    1. Me too, it breaks my heart but I'm glad this is a lesson learned young.

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  2. This is something i want to avoid.... but of course im just doing it bc he wont be with me, right? I'm so sorry ally feels that way.... i was going to leave that line open for him so he could still be in the girls lives, but if what SHE has said has even a shred of truth, i cant. Seeing as ive been mainly calling and messaging about the girls and he stil couldnt be bothered to read let alone pick up the phone.
    He should term his rights to all 3 of our girls and just disappear if you ask me. Save the girls some future heartache

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    1. All I can do is tell you my truth. He hasn't been there and when I called to tell him what Ally said he told me, "It's not like you bother to call and let me talk to her." It's tough to cut him off but he's hurting my baby more than being there.

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  3. I told him, he wants to talk to bella then he calls. Im not calling him just for my calls to go to voicemail 17 times. And brittany is stupid enough to think hes gonna change. Hell, i sent proof the other night that he asked for and received pictures and a recording of him saying he'll always come around because i satisy his needs in a way she can't. Without any suggestions from me about it. Been trying to save her and her son the heartache me you and the girls are going through even though she had a hand in it as well, but i guess she's like the both of us. Refusing to take of the rose colored glasses.

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  4. That is heartbreaking! I do not understand how a parent can abandon their children. And I hope what he said isn't getting to you because it is not your fault that he hasn't had any contact with Ally. If he can't take the 5 minutes to pick up the phone to call her that is on him. Hugs to both of you!!

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