Friday, May 12, 2017

This Beautiful Life

Here lately my everything has been exhausted. I haven't felt like myself and it's a realization that I have tried to hide from everyone. I have felt like a shadow of myself. Everything in front of me shows me that I should be beyond happy but the depression has been overwhelming. My period was over a month late due to all of the stress. S thought we were pregnant but I knew better that to believe that. My body is just messed up due to the stress, lack of a solid sleep schedule, and terrible eating habits. I am planning on getting back on track after my doctor's appointment on Monday. I have needed to get back into the swing of it because the way my body is crashing right now I am about 90% sure I am diabetic and I am getting myself involved with insulin. S has been diagnosed recently with Type 2 diabetes and I've watched how much he has beat himself up over it but I know how to manage mine and the steps that will be necessary for treatment. If I could just get myself out of this funk I would feel much better. The new apartment is beyond gorgeous and we are slowly customizing it to be ours. I have pics of Ally's room for you guys. My dad found a clearance bed frame for $35. I got her a mattress for $50 and a sheet set for $20. So in total we spent around $105 which is bad considering she is now in a twin bed and not just on a toddler mattress. My family really comes through despite our rough history.

Moon has definitely made herself at home. We took her to a vet because she has been sneezing nonstop. Turns out she has an upper respiratory infection and we'll be taking her to get a shot for it. Turns out I make a pretty good cat mom and S has been a pretty awesome cat dad. He helps out on the days I work long shifts by coming to check her food and water. I have to tell you guys something funny about Moon. When we first brought her home she wasn't eating or drinking hard. S did some research and cats use their whiskers for balance. She happens to have long whiskers so she felt like she was going to fall in her water bowl if she stuck her head too far in it to get a drink. She also hates anything fish flavored. So we've had to switch to chicken and beef based food for her. Now if we can just get rid of this infection she'll definitely be back on track.

This beautiful gal amazes me. She is incredibly smart and almost done with her first year of school. It makes me tear up just thinking of my baby being through with her first year already. We've made it farther than I could have hoped in two years. I didn't imagine we would be in a bigger apartment, making payments on our first car, graduating our first year of school, in a healthy relationship, and the biggest one; stable.

Stability is something Ally has lacked and this is my fault. I would get us away and come back. I took my stand and I don't regret it one bit. Ally and I are stronger than ever and I am so thankful to have this sweet gal by my side. She is definitely special and I am thankful for her pushing me to be the best mother possible.


  1. I am glad you are making a way for yourself and proving to yourself that you are indeed a strong woman.

  2. You are doing a great job! Things will get easier I know it!


Encouraging Comments Are Always Welcomed. :)